journal 1

I have been in the States for about one month. Sometimes I still think I am in China, but on the second thought, OH! I am in America, all by myself. Maybe as a newly international student, what I have suffered till now is just “drizzle”, but at least I have got everything started, and enjoyed this sense of loneliness and success.

Fourteen hours of altitude flight, fifteen hours of having classes, seven hours of sleeping, three hours of eating, five hours of reviewing. If all the things can be calculated by time, how many hours will I spend by myself? In the airport alone, in the classroom alone, in the dorm alone, in the restaurant alone, in the library alone. If everything can be blogged by location, how many places will I be there alone? Even if in the 150-student lecture class, at the CSSA party, on the crowded MTD, in the weekend supermarket, the more people, the lonelier and helpless hit I feel. Loneliness is a person’s revelry, and revelry is s group of person’s loneliness.

I feel it is the end of the world once in a while. Every hardness floods to me in one second. The time of one class collide with that of another; there is no more vacancy on the course that I was supposed to register; there is an unknown problem with my bank checking account which will lead to the fail of transferring money from china; I just know the professor is talking, but I do not know what is he or she talking about; in the discussion section, I always fail to catch up others’ topics, and I am too nerves to talk loudly.

It is kind of I have turned this journal into a complaint, but the reason I can put those things in words is just I am gradually adjusted to my study and life here. Maybe there are still kinds of different problems I have to face, but at least, I know that I can handle everything indeed. I do not really care about what I did wrong today. After all, tomorrow is another day.